Foster Children and Foster Families Need Stability
by Bill Hancock
When foster children move from family to family - agency to agency - school to school, they are forced to move from relationship to relationship at home, work, church, and community. At first they have the resiliency to start over. But over time - many moves - and broken relationships later, they may lose the hope that new relationships will be different, better, or safe. They learn to not to trust or get close to people. They stop trusting that anyone will care for them. Their general state of being becomes one of defensiveness rooted in anger, fear, and pain.
Then they reach the magic age of accountability and they're expected to become independent responsible adults. Reality sets in and they feel trapped; stuck in the middle between the mistakes of their youth and the expectation for meaningful and productive adult lives. The only thing they’ve learned from their mistakes in life is that they make mistakes and relationships don't work for them. Without growing emotionally and spiritually they fail to learn new methods of behavior or acquire the skills necessary to cope with adult responsibilities. Consequently, they set up for themselves the same set of circumstances that disrupt relationships and continue moving from relationship to relationship without experiencing the stability and freedom of unconditional love that comes from God's truth and grace .